Vampires are Everywhere!

Okay, after a hiatus, I’m back… I know friends far and near have been wondering where I went, but work just got the best of me. I promise to try and do a better job.

So what has happened since I’ve been gone…

Vampires have taken over our world… well, at least the pop culture world. I had been a vampire fan since 9th grade when I read Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire, but after Queen of the Damned, Vampires lost their appeal for me. Witches (The Witching Hour is a MUST READ) and wizards (who didn’t love Harry Potter) ruled. Now, vampires are every where (True Blood and Twilight). Unfortunately, my one hour of Sunday night television belongs to Desperate Housewives (until Big Love returns January 19) and I am keeping my movie money in my pocket.

Beyonce dropped a new album that turned out to be a bomb. I am very disappointed. Beyonce is a true superstar for our current generation and I, like you should, expect more than 7th grade lyrics and played beats.

I turned 30. And as crazy as it sounds, as soon as I turned 30, I found several gray hairs. Well, at least they were on my head.

I cooked Chili… that tasted like motor oil. I think I burned it. It tasted really bad.

Oh, and Barack Obama became the 44th president of the United States. S

I guess I missed a lot since September 27th. Oh well… tomorrow is another day and another chance to post.

Until Buffy stages a comeback (where's a good slayer when you need one),

-Your Favorite Teacher

Hair today, gone tomrrow...

I wrote about my barber this summer. He was arrested for back child support while cutting my hair.

I had a good barber. He did a solid job of cutting my hair.

My new barber cuts in the same shop and in the same chair. He does a fine job on my hair, but a horrible job on my hairline and face.

I don’t think my hair is hard to cut. I go in, sit down, get a hair cut, and go home. I never complain about the hair cut or over scrutinize the hair cut. If I get a good compliment about my haircut (rarely ever in my life), I say thank you and move on. However, with my new haircut, I don’t think I can go back into that shop and simply move on. This new barber and I are through. He has to go!

I have marks across my face and hairline where my new barber has butchered me up. After I finished with my hair cut and went home, I realized my mustache was uneven and that my beard was lopsided.

I will not let my new barber cut my hair again. I must shave my facial hair and look thirteen again

Some tales from the front lines...

Teacher Stories-
The funniest things happen in high school classrooms…

After teaching a unit of study concerning constitutional rights, Mr. Ball gives his students a test over the material. When more than half of the students fail the test, Mr. Ball revists the material and gives a retest. When the same percentage of students fail the test, Mr. Ball gets disappointed and a little peeved.

“What is wrong here,” Mr. Ball asks, both hands in the air, a look of indignation on his face. “I taught this material twice. Everything on the test came directly from the notes. Directly! I mean, even the desks… do you hear me, the desks in this room could have passed this test from just being in the room when I went over the material.”

A student, who did not pass the test, raises her hand.

“Mr. Ball, I just want to apologize for the class and say that you are right. Not only the desks, but even the file cabinet should have been able to pass as easy as the test was.”

Another student, an attitudinal look of shock on her face, who sits behind the first students, raises her hand.

“Well, if that was the case, I am sitting right here by this cabinet and if I would have known the test was that easy, I would have looked on the cabinet’s paper for the answer and not yours.”

Republicans will believe anything...

Since the Republican National Convention, I have searched for the right word to describe the Republican ability to twist and alter the truth. Today, I finally found that word while reading last week’s Creative Loafing (I told you I was catching up on my reading…). A great editorial by Cliff Brockstock, “When the truth won’t do” quotes Stephen Colbert and calls it “truthiness.” The article is still online at http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/when_the_truth_won_t_do/Content?oid=555942.

Republicans believe whatever they want to believe. They accept “truthiness” when truth is staring them directly in the face.

Truthiness?
Barack Obama is unprepared and too inexperienced to be President of the United States.

Truth:
Barack Obama, graduate of Harvard Law and former president of the Harvard Law Review, spent three years as a community organizer, twelve years as a Constitutional Law professor, eight years as a state Senator, and four years as a United State Senator (sponsoring 131 bills). Clearly, Obama has the experience needed to serve as the next President of the United States.

Truthiness?
Barack Obama does not represent family values or American values.

Truth:
Barack Obama has been married for nineteen years to the same woman and has reared both of his daughters in a Christian home. He and his wife both sacrificed the opportunity to make “a lot of money” in order to serve their community as public servants.

The truth is out there…

A Break...

I am off for an entire week. I know, fellow bloggers, eat your heart out…

What I have done: Caught up on television! I have been taping Project Runway (isn’t this show hilarious) and America’s Top Model (again, hilarious) and I finally got around to watching them. Both shows are in some very good and creative seasons. I am pleased.

Caught up on reading! The most recent issues of most magazines have been excellent. Palin, Palin, Palin, and I, like most Americans, cannot get enough election coverage.

Caught up on sleep! It is a glorious feeling to be able to get a nap each day.

Caught up on the gym! I made great workout progress this summer and have returned to the track and Gold’s.

The pictures posted are some highlights...

My Very Own Republican National Convention Scrapbook!

Captions for my Republican National Convention Scrapbook...

1. 80’s Fashion truly is making a comeback…






2. And first lady Laura Bush agrees.

3. Oh, it was Gerald Ford who died…. My bad… I that it was this guy. Then, why is he with reformed alcoholic Betty Ford?

4. “I been a Republican since Lincoln, and I ain’t changing. If Rosa could stay on that bus, then I show can stay in this party! Segregation today, segregation tomorrow…"

5. Benedict Arnold was in attendance.

6. Representing the great state of Georgia… and Hazzard County...

Boss Hog.

I guess it really is true...

More McCain means more of the same...

Sarah Palin and tall... is simply not tall enough!

For some it seems as though first impressions are lasting impressions and this seems to have been the case for McCain in regards to Palin.

Beautiful, intelligent, and a staunch conservative, Plaines appeared to appeal to a group of Republicans who were not connecting to McCain. Never mind the fact that Palin would be one of the most inexperienced Presidents in history or that few Americans had ever heard of her or knew of her political convictions. None of that matters when you are Miss Congeniality (Palin won this title in 1984).

Palin seemed like the perfect pick. It is hard to argue against the war in Iraq with someone who has a child fighting in Iraq. It is hard to argue against abortion with someone who has a child with Downs Syndrome.

However, it is also hard to argue for abstinence only education when you are someone who has a teenage daughter who has conceived a child out of wedlock. It is also hard to argue against big government and more accountability in terms of spending when you are someone who has more earmarked deals than the majority of other U.S. governors.

A number of minor “news quakes” have rocked the McCain-Palin ticket in the days since his announcement that Palin would be his running mate. A pregnant unwed teenaged daughter, a history of earmarking work with lobbyists, and affiliation with the Alaskan Independence Party (which questions whether statehood is good for Alaska), are all things that should have propelled McCain away from Palin as the Republican Vice Presidential nominee-if McCain truly knew these things about Palin.

Poor John McCain. It seems as if he failed to do his homework. And as any student will tell you, failing to do homework can result in dire consequences come report card time…

Until Alaska becomes its own sovereign nation,
-Zack Kirk